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Archive for the ‘Values’ Category

We didn’t need self-actualization after all

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Maslow's pyramid of needs, old version and new

Those of us with a fascination for the “P” in “NLP” may be delighted to learn that Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs has been updated to reflect the past 50-ish years of research.

The research team – which included Vladas Griskevicius of the University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, and Mark Schaller of the University of British Columbia, Vancouver – restructured the famous pyramid after observing how psychological processes radically change in response to evolutionarily fundamental motives, such as self-protection, mating or status concerns.

The bottom four levels of the new pyramid are highly compatible with Maslow’s, but big changes are at the top. Perhaps the most controversial modification is that self-actualization no longer appears on the pyramid at all.

What do you think? Will you stop striving for self-actualization just because a group of psychologists says you no longer need it? Does the new pyramid make more sense?

Written by Michael DeBusk

August 23rd, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Posted in Psych,Values

Modeling Mom

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I read an article today on Stepcase Lifehack and found myself impressed. The author, a teacher, developed a model of how to help children be happy:

…every Mother’s Day I would ask my students to give me advice on being a mother. They were to think about things their mother or guardian did for or with them that made them feel happy or loved. The classroom would go silent as the students wrote intensely for longer than they had ever written before. Often smiles would appear on their faces as they reflected on the happy experiences they were remembering. After reading their responses I would add to my list all the ideas they mentioned. Surprisingly, many of the responses were the same. Year after year, in every country I taught, and in every type of demographic, the students were saying the same things and had the same message…

It brought to mind the woman I love. One of the things I find so compelling about her is her focus on her kids’ happiness. They’re lucky to have her.

The Top 10 Things Children Really Want Their Parents To Do With Them

Written by Michael DeBusk

December 30th, 2009 at 12:21 am

Posted in Modeling,Values

Updating “I met a survivor”

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Back in June I wrote about how I met a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps. Since then I’ve collected a few articles in line with that one, and I wanted to share them with you.

Written by Michael DeBusk

April 5th, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Posted in Articles,Values

Best article ever

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Do you want to read what I think is the best newsletter article I’ve ever read?

I don’t know what it is about it, but I think it’s amazing. It may be the fact that I just finished listening to a lecture series on rhetoric by Professor Michael D. C. Drout; it may be that I’ve been leaning a little farther to the political right over the past few months and therefore finding Winston Churchill interesting; it may even be the mood I’m in.

Go to the Essential Skills blog and read Tom Vizzini’s article, “Tom, have you seen the chemtrails in the sky?” and see for yourself.

Written by Michael DeBusk

February 25th, 2009 at 2:17 am

Posted in Persuasion,Values

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I’m rich. It’s official. Really.

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I’m loaded. It’s official. I’m the 68,695,653 richest person on earth!

How rich are you? >>

Written by Michael DeBusk

January 24th, 2009 at 2:18 am

Conflicting Values Can Be Amusing

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On my old friend Chad’s blog I find a funny story from his wife, Tina, about some of the “home buyer” shows she’s seen on HGTV:

The wishes kill me…

  • I want to live in the city, but I do not want the noise, I want to be away from the traffic.
  • I want to live in the country, but do not want a big yard.
  • I want to live in the suburbs, but I do not want to live close to other people

It cracks me up, too, Tina. I used to do something similar with the Personals ads in newspapers. (It isn’t as much fun on Web-based Personals sites because people have a lot of “room” to write. They get pretty elaborate about their conflicting desires. Newspaper ads were fun because they were terse.)

I guess people are taught to think in terms of black-and-white, on-and-off, digital and not analog. This is important to me, they think, so I have to have it. Weird.

Maybe we should have some sort of adulthood ritual, like “primitive” cultures do.

Written by Michael DeBusk

August 3rd, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Posted in Articles,Values


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If you aren’t a member of NLP Connections, you’re missing a great thread on forgiveness.

I’m just sayin’.

Written by Michael DeBusk

July 30th, 2008 at 3:11 am

How to Be a Rule-Breaker

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Dustin Wax over at has written another spot-on article, this time on the five rules for breaking the rules:

  • Break the rules as a last resort;
  • Rule-breaking gains its power from the strength of rules, not their weakness;
  • For every broken rule there are a dozen unbroken ones;
  • For every broken rule, there is a reason;and
  • Accept the consequences.

I must admit that I’ve followed these rules quite a bit in my life, and it’s worked consistently well for me.

How to Break All the Rules (

Written by Michael DeBusk

May 26th, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Words of Wisdom

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From a wonderful site, Forwarded Funnies, comes the following story:

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.

He said,”My son, it is between 2 wolves.”

One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego..”

The other is good: “Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one I feed.”

Written by Michael DeBusk

April 30th, 2008 at 11:17 am

What you are versus what you say you are

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If people aren’t taking you seriously, maybe it’s because of the way you’re communicating with them. Liz Strauss over at Successful Blog writes about the disconnect between a recent client’s goals and some of their marketing materials:

What do you do when you have big goals and you realize that your customer base sees you as a small-time operation? It’s time to realign your value proposition and how you offer your services to them.

Go read Does Your Value Proposition Say that You’re Small Time?

(I love the way she creates headlines. )

Written by Michael DeBusk

March 14th, 2008 at 6:18 pm