Archive for February, 2017
Kendra Cherry gives a very nice overview of nine distinct communication channels apart from the words we choose:
Nonverbal communication plays an important role in how we convey meaning and information to others, as well as how we interpret the actions of those around us. The important thing to remember when looking at such nonverbal behaviors is to consider the actions in groups. What a person actually says along with his or her expressions, appearance, and tone of voice might tell you a great deal about what that person is really trying to say.
I love the fine distinctions. Master these and send ten different messages at once.
The “P” in “NLP” stands for “programming,” as in “computer programming.” I’ve found it very useful to learn basic computer programming and to read what programmers write about what they do.
Programmers work in teams, and “soft skills” are increasingly important in the field. Today I found a reference to one of NLP’s Presuppositions:
I began to realize that nobody–including myself–was really taking the time to understand the motivations of their colleagues. When John presented the situation to me, he thought he understood Gargamel’s motivations, and I didn’t question that understanding. Similarly, Gargamel thought he understood Dr. Claw’s motivations and neither he nor his manager questioned that understanding. But I had met both Gargamel and Dr. Claw. They are both very nice, generous people who don’t resemble their cartoon villain namesakes in the slightest.
We do tend to take better care of others than we do ourselves. It’s so much easier to tell someone else how to make a positive change than to come to good conclusions about our own lives.
I’ve used that tendency to my own advantage many times, both in my own life and in my coaching of other people.
When someone comes to me and asks for advice, and I haven’t the slightest idea what to tell them, I ask, “If someone came to you with this same problem, what would you tell them to do?” I love the fact that they almost always come up with a great solution to their own problem.